we are growing and things are getting a little harder. a lot of little different jobs i was taking lately but also enjoyed a good active summer holiday on bicycle at the baltic sea.
i was working with children two weeks in france. and one week in germany. the weather was quiete warm compared to usual german summer. mostly around noon the temperature went up over 30°c and it made me feel heavy like a stone and tired. in the morning, when it was not so warm, i woke up early to practice yoga at least half an hour to keep me prepared and calm for staying up concentrated with the kids all day. we kept them happy in the pool or played games, went on adventures at a lake or in a nature park for climbing in trees. is was all fun, but i realize that i don´t have the same strength as usual. going upstairs is getting more taff and i am out of breath more quickly. to accept that i am not as agile as usual is quit hard as i always want to be strong and flexible. right now i do not have a super huge belly in front of me, surely you can tell that there is a baby on board, but i wonder how i can accept this lethargy in a few weeks…
another thing upsetting me a little, is the high sensitive care of others. people around me do not let me carry things or treat me like disabled sometimes. thats pretty hard for me as well. of course i am in a different stage but i want to be seen like usual. i dont want to be helped if i am not asking. and even asking for help is not always easy. so here we go.accepting a kind of weakness is not a simple thing for me.
appart from this there are also very nice moments. since one week i can not only feel the movement of the smalli inside strong, but also observant viewer from outside can see the unevenly motion of my belly. this is something really exciting. observing the magic of pregnancy as it is a little miracle happening here inside of me! mostly in the evening when i want to sleep it starts to move around and i am happy for every signal, which tells me that this little life inside me is developing well. the last ultrasound 3 weeks ago did proof that too. heart function, brain shape and organsize are as they should be, even my bodyweight has not risen yet, which i found a little worrying. the size of the baby constantly rises and so my belly does. the doctor calmed me as it is not unusual, the baby takes what it needs and if it takes my fat reserves first i shouldn´t be sad about it. since a few weeks i eat an ice cream almost everyday. i find it ok to satisfy this graving with a cool little sweetness! and here and there there is vegan icecream available!
every evening i use the oil against stretch marks from welda with almond and jojoba oil. the smell of this product is very calming and nice. i enjoy this little extra love that i can give myself and my baby and the conscious time we spend together like that. for more calmness and a good preparation of my body for the birth i started to go to a prenatal yoga class. the teacher has a really calming voice and teaches a good variety of asanas and pranayama with vocal exercices. i can totally recommend to look for a course like this and also find a way to meet other pregnant women to share experiences and worries.
if you are not able to find a good teacher near you. there are also classes online that can help to relax and prepare. here is one video i like to follow in the morning.
so far i found a lot of second hand baby cloth and pregnancy clothing for free in different free gift shelves, at freakstock – the festival i went lately, or as a present or lend from friends and family. i got a buggy for free of nice family with 5 children. and my step mother will also give me baby bed and diaper table. i am so happy that everything that is needed just comes to me. thankful i am awaiting this little human and start slowly to build a nest in which i can feel secure.
i will let you know in a bit how this will look like. stay tuned and happy.